Friday, May 16, 2008

An Early Morning Meeting with El Roi

My blog woke me up this morning. There was stuff I needed to write! But it seems that my writing ability is much better when I am in that place between asleep and awake. Because now as I sit here I am wondering what it was that was so compelling that it pulled me out of my sleep at 5 in the morning. Not that I am upset about it....I love this time of the day. It is one of the few times in my day that the house is quiet....even the dogs are still sleeping. I have spent this time in the quiet thinking about El Roi....the God who sees me. I love that name for God. He sees me. He sees my joy. He sees my hurts. He sees my laughter. He sees my tears. He sees me. Yesterday He saw me as I sat in the Rifle High School award assembly watching Caleb receive awards for Anatamoy and Physiology student of the year and for Sophomore Science Student of the Year. I am so proud of Caleb. He has made the transition from homeschooling to public school with such grace. He stands up for his faith. He works hard. He is salt and light in his school. I am so excited to see what God has for him in the future! Yesterday El Roi saw me also as I sat in a planning meeting with the special ed. department at the high school and lots of other people planning out what next year would look like for my Joshua. He saw me fighting to hold my emotions back. He sees how hard it is for me to make this transition for Josh from homeschooling to high school. I know it is right and truthfully I walked away from that meeting with peace in my heart about next year. It is time but it is still hard to let him take this step. But I know that my Joshua too is a child of El Roi....the God who sees. God has big plans for my Joshua and I am so proud of Josh and all that he has overcome. There are many challenges yet ahead for him but I know that the God who sees him is also the God who will give him the strength and the power he needs for each day. It is because I have a God who sees me....who sees my uncertainty, my insecurities, my fears that I can do this thing......because at the end of the day it is El Roi....who not only sees me, but saves me, strengthens me, loves me, holds me, shelters me.......It is the spirit of the living God in me......not me.......Him! Praise be to God!

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From whence shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will prtect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forever.
Psalm 121

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